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Opinion: Update Your Pic, Be Honest About Who You Are

Faceless profiles are pretty much the new norm on Grindr, Scruff, Etc. At times I don’t mind chatting with one, but only if he sends a picture or two during our conversation.

However, it’s the people on these apps who post either outdated pictures or fake pictures. The only thing that I can think of as to why people do this is because they have no confidence in their looks, and they feel that if they are invited over that the person who they are seeing will be too horny to turn them away. Because this has happened to me several times, and I am sure to a lot more guys, I decided to share my story in the hopes that the liar in the picture doesn’t do it again.

The first thing I did was update my Grindr account to say: “If you meet me at my place and the picture that you sent looks nothing like you, then I will simply call 911 and tell them that you tried breaking in. If we meet in public, I will most likely make a scene and embarrass the Hell out of you.”

So here’s my story…

It was just past midnight, early on a new Sunday morning, and I was in bed feeling so freaking horny. All of my “regulars” weren’t available, and the good ones on Grindr either weren’t interested or were too tired to get out of bed. So I messaged someone who, by his pictures, didn’t look too bad. After stating I wasn’t a taxi, because he needed a ride to get to my place, he said he would take an Uber to me. He arrived around 2 a.m.

I always try hard not to wake the landlord, so I keep it dark in the house until I get to my room. Needless to say, I couldn’t really see my trick’s face. But once I reached my room, I was like WTF?!

His face was older and not attractive at all. He then got naked. He was pretty much flabby skin and brittle bones. Meanwhile, in the pictures he sent to me hours earlier, he looked toned and well kempt.

The morning wasn’t starting off good at all. I said to myself, “Well, he is here. If I turn off the lights and hit the Rush, then I can close my eyes and picture someone else.”

So, I tried keeping the room pitch black. But then he says, “Um, I can’t see anything. Can we have some lights on, please? “

“Ugh,” I thought. “If you insist.” So I put a small light on in the corner of the room.

The second thing that bothered me was that he was so intoxicated that you could smell the alcohol through the pores of his body. I don’t mind someone drinking, but not that much. And at that moment I could see why he took the Uber. Thankfully, the Rush helped with the smell. I then figured that I would rim him. But that turned out to be a failure, too.

When I stopped and went to grab the lube, figuring that I would just jerk off with him, he grabbed a hold of me and tried to manhandle me. After putting a stop to that, I sat up. Out of nowhere, I asked him how much he paid for the Uber. And I had to ask a second time because he was dumbfounded and couldn’t answer me. When he told me it was around $32.00, I said “okay” and gave him my phone and told him to put his address in because I was sending him on his way. I apologized.

“I am sorry,” I said. “But I tried and I just can’t do this.”

This must have been the first time that this has happened to him because he couldn’t remember his address. I took my phone back and said, “It’s simple. Give me you address.”

He told me, and then I had Uber come and get him. It cost just over $32.00, but it was definitely well spent. He stumbled as he tried to get dressed, and I then walked him to the door. As he waited outside, I filled my mouth with Listerine and held it in my mouth for a good 10 minutes. It burned a lot, but thinking about the disaster that this night turned out to be, I felt it was a great, sanitary end.

I hate feeling guilt, but he did this to himself. If he had updated his pictures on his profile – If he had just been honest with me – then he would have never been invited over in the first place.